F.F.F. (Far From Frisky)
In the sixties, we had Michael Caine as Alfie and Sean Connery as James Bond. In the seventies, we had Warren Beatty in ‘Shampoo’ and Oliver Tobias in ‘The Stud’. In the eighties we had Richard Gere portraying an ‘American Gigolo’ but, these days, our heroes are Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock Holmes and Jim Parsons a.k.a. Sheldon Cooper.
These guys are not only NOT playboys, but they are asexual; they have no interest in sex. Both actors actually bat for the other side but, in the roles they portray, sex does NOT play a part in their lives. They have other things that pre-occupy their minds.
Both characters have traces of Asperger’s Syndrome and/or OCD in their make-up, which probably knocks-out much sexual desire, but the biggest question is: why do we find these characters so appealing?
Gay men and women and straight women love them for their style, their intelligence, their wit etc. and straight men probably love them for all those reasons too, but why do straight men now idolise an asexual person? Why do straight men love a character that doesn’t have sex or even lust after women?
Could it be that being a red-blooded male is frequently painful and frustrating? Could it be that constantly trying to be masculine, dynamic, decisive and persuasive is actually really fucking exhausting? Could it be that many men are bored stiff of trying to be something they’re not? Could it be that straight men admire a nerd who manages to look incredibly cool because, in truth, that’s what they are: quiet, polite, ordinary men who really wish they could be cool?
Which is particularly disappointing for straight women looking for a strong, dashing, lusty prince, who doesn’t need to be asked twice to sweep you up in his arms and make passionate love to you!
That’s not to say that lusty men don’t exist. There will always be straight men looking for a wet hole to make a deposit. It doesn’t really matter who the hole belongs to. There will always be men that need to “de-spunk” and, if you can help them with it, they may even buy you dinner?
For me, I find it very interesting that asexual men have become heroes. In the worlds of these far-from-frisky role models, there is no sexual tension, no dirty jokes, no smouldering looks. These guys are re-defining modern man. It doesn’t really help women brought up on Prince Charming, Rhett Butler and John Shaft but, for many men, being alpha-male, super-stud, champion lover is not what they are; they have more in common with Sherlock and Sheldon!